I’ve recently gone on a social media fast until October 31st and on this fast, I’ve devoted more time to school, my family and God. Someone facetiously asked me, “why I gave up social media for Jesus and decided my great return on the devil’s birthday?” I didn’t consider that it sounded that way. I picked October 31st to return because my family has a family Halloween costume and there was no flipping way I could keep all that cuteness to myself.
So, on this fast, my husband and I have been studying Bible plans. We completed a marital plan written by David and Tamela Mann and now we’re working on a plan that breaks down Bible stories. I didn’t think this particular plan would have such a impact on my life, but it has.
I shared with you guys that I recently found out that one of my parents suffers from BPD. Accepting this and moving forward has been hard. I’ve been not only the scapegoat for a lot of things in my parent’s life but I too have had to pick up many pieces of their puzzle. I’ve found myself lost in situations I didn’t even know were “situations” and have been treated unfairly by others due to things my parent has or hasn’t done to other people.
People believe that you are the company you keep and in my case, my company was my family– someone I couldn’t so easily detach myself from. I suffered loneliness … Most of my relationships were nonexistent because many people didn’t want to have any dealings with my “company,” and that left me feeling complacent and confused.
“Do I stop talking to those who don’t like my parent,” I thought. “Damn, that means I talk to no one.” “Am I a traitor to my own blood?”
I never found solace in any answer until now.
For a while I felt like I was bad because I came from someone “bad.” It felt like my story was already told and there was no way to rewrite it. Still today, in therapy we end almost every session with me saying aloud that, “I am good. I am worthy…” I’m not convinced yet but that doesn’t stop me from trying to affirm myself daily– I’m really working on self love.
Back to the Bible plan… I read about Enoch. Enoch was a descendant of Adam.
I’m no pastor so I won’t get into the story verbatim but I will get into what convicted my soul.
Enoch was so faithful that he did not die but got sent back to God! What?? (Like bruh just disappeared on up to Heaven)
Let’s take a trip down memory lane. Enoch’s great x4 grandparents were Adam and Eve who if you don’t remember, disobeyed God in the garden of Eden!
Adam + Eve
Adam + Eve gives birth to Cain, Able and Seth
Cain killed Able
Seth is Enoch’s great x3 grandparent
Enoch is a pleasing servant to God and gets sent back to Heaven
Do you follow?
Enoch went on to be a beautiful servant to God despite his lineage’s (Adam and Eve) past! Amen!
I read this and felt so blessed! My story isn’t my parent’s. It’s not my grandparent’s! It’s mine! I’m not inherently bad because someone in my family is “bad.” and despite my version of “bad,” God doesn’t hold anything against us!
Free yourself from the burdens that aren’t yours!
“Many people were made righteous through the obedience of ONE person, just as many people were made sinners through the disobedience of ONE person.”
Romans 5:19 CEB
I love you and so does Jesus!